


Saying Goodbye

by G8rguy



Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: M/M, Major Tissue Alert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-25 22:13:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4978510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/G8rguy/pseuds/G8rguy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>
  <b></b>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <i>Fair Warning - this is Sad, multiple tissue warning.  Do not read if you are emotional - not my usual stuff but kinda came outta nowhere and debated about even publishing it but people on tumblr encouraged me to, so consider yourself warned!</i>
  <br/>
</p>
    </blockquote>





	Saying Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> ****  
>    
>  _Fair Warning - this is Sad, multiple tissue warning. Do not read if you are emotional - not my usual stuff but kinda came outta nowhere and debated about even publishing it but people on tumblr encouraged me to, so consider yourself warned!_   
> 

Jude held onto his hand as he rubbed his thumb across his knuckles feeling the pressure in his chest, the lump in his throat, as he listened to the rhythmic noise of the machines surrounding them. The constant, steady beeping of the monitors had gotten slower as Jude had been sitting next to the sleeping form lying in the hospital bed over the last half hour and he knew that there was only so much time left now. He reached over and gently brushed aside a few strands of hair from the face that he knew better than even his own when his eyes fluttered open slowly. 

Jude looked into those hazel eyes, now clouded and tired and saw that the pain had stopped being the only thing he saw when he looked in those eyes. Connor looked at Jude and a tentative smile touched that face in places only Jude would recognize, but he was so tired of fighting this Jude saw and he swallowed down his own pain to be there for his love.

“Hey” Connor whispered “Love you.” 

Jude felt the tears running down his face freely now “Love you too” he replied trying to keep his voice calm. “How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Tired” Connor rasped, his breathing becoming labored. He closed his eyes against the sudden pain that Jude saw surge against the medicine that was keeping him relaxed. Jude saw the brief flex in Connor’s hand as he pressed down on the button that would release another dose of pain killing drugs into the IV line in his hand as he tried to endure it without showing.

Jude reached up to the side of his face, gently stroking the side as Connor leaned into his touch and opened his eyes to look up at the face he loved more than any other. “I don’t want to leave you” he said, voice trembling, “…it just hurts so much.” Jude touched the tears gathering at the corners of his eyes and gently brushed them away.

Jude closed his eyes and pushed down his own fears and pain. He needed to be strong for him now and he knew it was time to give Connor permission. Jude opened his eyes and brown met hazel as he gave a trembling smile “I know baby. And it’s okay. I’ll be okay. You can go. I’ll be alright. You have fought for so long and so hard and I know how tired you are. It’s okay, you can just relax now” Jude tried to reassure him.

Connor breathed deeply and barely squeezed his hand, his strength almost gone, “I love you Jude. I wouldn’t trade a second of our time together for anything” Connor reassured him as the tears flowed unstopping down Jude’s face. “Thank you for loving me” he whispered.

Jude leaned forward and placed a brief kiss on Connor’s dry lips. “You are my heart Connor, I love you so much.” Jude pulled back but Connor’s eyes were now closed and Jude heard the soft exhale of breath that passed his lips the moment before the sound of the machine changed from a slow beep to a single tone. Looking at the heart monitor Jude saw the line that showed no heartbeat in the body before him as the numbers dropped to zero.

Jude looked back at the face he loved so much that was now, finally, free of the pain of the last year. He swallowed back the tears as he stood up and pressed a kiss to the still warm forehead and started to straighten up his clothes and the sheets, making him look more presentable. He knows Connor was always aware of how he was seen by others and Jude wanted to be sure that he would be okay this last time. 

Jude heard the room door open but didn’t turn to look, he knew who would be walking in the room as they had been sitting outside for the last few days and when the doctors had been able to tell Jude that the time was coming the entire family had gathered to say their goodbyes. Each of them had been in the room over last few days to just sit with Connor, to talk when he was awake, and to share the love of the one that had just left him. 

Jude felt the strong hand on his shoulder and knew it was Jason. Turning he looked at the man standing there with red eyes and a pain racked face. “Is he…” Jason croaked as he tried to finish but his grief had swollen his throat closed.

“He’s gone” Jude said softly and turned towards the man standing there looking so broken. Tall, distinguished with his salt and pepper hair, Jason collapsed into Jude’s arms like a little boy as he heard Kara start to sob softly, her blonde hair in the bun she normally wore looking ragged as she was embraced by her younger brother Steven. Jude looked at these three feeling grateful that they were here for him. Jason’s tears soaking his shirt as Steven looked over and saw Jude’s eyes, filled with love for him. Steven moved over towards Jude’s open arm bringing Kara with him joining their brother in that loving embrace.

The three cried for several minutes before they pulled apart and started to regain control of themselves. Kara had wrapped herself around Jude, no longer looking like the powerful attorney that her colleagues recognized from her years in the courtroom, but instead looking like the shattered little girl that she felt like. Jason had moved over to Connor and was brushing Connor’s hair from his face unnecessarily as he tried to figure out how to say goodbye.

Jude brushed the last tears from his eyes that he would cry today. There would be more later he knew, but now he had to be strong for these three and the rest of the family waiting outside. He looked at the pain in the faces of the three people he loved more than anyone else in the world now. He cleared his throat, “I am going to get the rest of the family” Jude told them as he grabbed his cane, resting on the chair beside the bed “I will be right back.”

Steven moved over to him “I can do that” he started when Jude stopped him. “No Steven, I need to move and you three need some time here alone with him.” Jude smiled as he touched his face and turned and walked out the door.

Walking along the halls of the hospice facility he stepped into the small lounge and saw the rest of the family sitting there. He looked at Melissa’s beautiful face as she sat next to Benjamin and Mariana, both of the leaning into her as she looked up at Jude. Benjamin looked so much like Steven at that age that Jude smiled as he remembered.

Toni was crying softly as she was held by Max who would always hold a very special place in Jude’s heart. He was holding a sleeping Connor on his lap while Audrey held Stef next to them. Adam was sleeping in Irene’s arms as she leaned up against Dean, the tears on her face were fresh. David looked so uncomfortable here, Jude knew that he hated hospitals and places like this after his parents died. He was only here for Kara and he sat with Jays’ arm around him while his twins, Kyle and David stood up as they saw Jude enter the room. Everyone turned towards him and he was so glad they were here. He walked in and David reached out and offered his arm to help Jude sit down. 

“He’s gone” Jude said softly and smiled gently at those around him as he heard his family start to cry again. Max came over and wrapped his arms around Jude and hugged him gently. There wasn’t conversation for a few minutes while everyone just held each other. Finally Irene handed Adam to Dean as she stood up and walked over to Jude. 

“Do you want me to call Aunt Mari Grandad” she said softly to Jude. He nodded grateful. Mariana was the last of his forever family still living and though she couldn’t travel, he knew she was as worried as his family that was here. Irene went to call her while Kara walked back in the room with Steven.

“Dad” she looked over at Jude “we wanted to bring everyone to see daddy if it’s okay with you?”

Jude nodded as they all walked down the hall together and Jude smiled at the family he and Connor had built together. Jason, Steven, and Kara had been their children and brought joy into their lives. Joy that multiplied each time another family member joined them. From their first grandchild Max to their most recent great-granddaughter Stefanie Lena, Jude and Connor had been blessed with a loving family over the nearly seventy years that they had been together. From dating, to college, to marriage, kids, grandkids and great grandkids, Jude had a life he couldn’t have imagined as a 12 year old boy in the foster system.

Walking into the room he smiled at the gray haired man lying in the bed with the lines of age and wisdom written on his face. Connor was beautiful to Jude and always would be no matter how old they had gotten. The six pack was long gone, the blonde hair had faded to gray, and the firm body had softened and slouched with time but he didn’t care. Jude wasn’t the same either and Connor had never stopped flirting with Jude, not when they celebrated their 50th Anniversary surrounded by their family. That had been the last time that all five of his siblings had been all together at the same time and place and he relished those memories. He was even flirting just a few days ago just to make Jude feel better.

Their kids and grandkids were saying their goodbyes to their father and grandfather and Jude smiled as he sat down heavily in the chair. He had been strong for so long as Connor had fought the cancer that had finally overwhelmed his body. Jude smiled as he remembered all that they had overcome over so, so many years and he felt so sleepy, a comfortable pressure weighing on his chest from the memories pushing on him. He felt a soft hand on his leg and looked over at his great grandson Connor, just five years of age, who was smiling at him. Pulling his love’s namesake into his lap, Connor immediately snuggled into Jude who laughed softly. Seems that he takes after his great-grandfather in that way as well. Connor was always a snuggler too.

Jude listened to everyone talking and he sighed and felt so tired and thought he would close his eyes for just a little bit to rest for what would come next. He was just so sleepy.

When Jason turned around to look for his dad, he saw his grandson curled up in Jude’s lap and his dad asleep. He walked over and picked up Connor to give Jude some relief when he saw that Jude wasn’t moving. Kneeling down quietly not to disturb either of them he gently reached and touched the side of Jude’s face and started to cry when his father’s face rolled over into his hand and the cane fell from his hand. Jason leaned into his father’s thigh knowing he had left them too.

He felt Kara and Steven join him as they heard the cane fall and fresh tears started to run down their faces as they saw that their other father was gone as well. Somehow it seemed right that they left together. Jason had known that his father would not live long when his daddy died, though he had hoped that he would try. But they had been together too long to ever be apart for any real period of time, but he wasn’t ready for this yet. But he was honest enough with himself that he knew he never would have been ready. His fathers were together again somewhere.


End file.
